just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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