These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
They have beer where we have blood.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
