he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
