i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize