just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize