Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
