i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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