forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
