We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
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