Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
