There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
