hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My vagina is officially offended.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
