check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
