when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
