omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
