You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
