i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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