hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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