part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
