It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
