9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
