dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
