im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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