Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
