Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
