They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Say something about gay babies.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
