FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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