oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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