Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
