Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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