Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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