About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
