she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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