I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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