all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
