Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
