big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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