hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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