i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
