i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
