you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
