At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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