also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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