people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
this is an emotional support booty call
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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