I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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