Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
