who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
try to milk me bitch
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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