he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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