**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
