I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
