I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
