Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
