i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
