jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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