Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
