Jerry, you need to find god
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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