so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
