HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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