So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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