We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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